Anyone who's talked to me for, like, a few minutes probably can guess that I'm open indeed to pretty much everything. I may not do certain things or whatever, but that's not saying I'll look down on people who are/are into whatever. BDSM? Not my thing, but if you like, sure, whatever, that's you. LGBT? None of those orientations do I belong to, but if you are, awesome for you. Catholic? Not me, but if you are, okay, good. Just so long as people don't try to force anything on me, I don't care what they are. I have a friend who wears a wolf tail (fake one, not one from an actual wolf O.o ) in RL sometimes, not sure what that makes him since he doesn't always wear it or if that matters, but I don't care. I have my mind generally wide open on any topic, other than stupidity, bigotry, close-mindedness...basically anything that clashes with my own self.
Why am I talking about this? In my state, there is currently a court case going on about getting rid of the law that bans gay marriage. Two couples are involved in this and one, the lesbian couple (not the gay partnership that started this) are legally married in California, but, with the law as it is, they do not have the rights married couples have. Even though they are married. Now, I'll admit, where I am is very conservative and, I think, part of the Bible Belt, if not part of it, it is one of the really close neighbors. So, yes, we're the stupid fucks who don't want anything to change. Yep. Now, with this case, I'm hoping for the best, but I'm not optimistic. If it changes, there's a chance that this could cause ripples, since this is one of the more conservative states. If it happens, maybe, jsut maybe, more states will loosen some. The Supreme Court, in my opinion, should get up and say 'yo, this breaks the countries constitution', but they don't because 'marriage is in the states' jurisdiction'. Now, I think they only give a damn about that because they don't want to become unpopular with the decision that is the only lawful way to go.
Okay, I'm not saying people can't be against gay marriage, but, really, how the hell does it affect you? If it doesn't affect you, why do you care so much? Are you going to go marry someone of your sex just because the law allows it? No, I don't think so. The people who love those of their own sex deserve love and marriage as much as the rest of us. I always have the scenario in my head of straights being the minority and their rights being taken away because of who they are attracted to, and I have asked people: what if you couldn't marry someone because they are of the opposite sex? What if you couldn't make decisions any other married couple could because you are not married or 'only' in a civil union? People tend to brush it off because 'that's not the way it is'. And calling being homosexual 'unnatural' is wrong. There has been studies, there is proof that there is a cell cluster in a gay man's brain about the same size as the same cluster in a woman's brain. I don't remember if it is bigger or smaller than the one in a straight man's brain, but that's proof it's not 'unnatural'. Hell, there are lesbian swans, people! (granted some do argue they are only a couple because there weren't enough male swans around, but the fact remains they are a couple.)
Now, the only argument that makes some logical sense is the one that children need a male and female role model. My only problem with that is that children can get the same from people outside their family, or other family members. But, still, there seems only two arguments against it: the Bible says no, and it is not good for children. From a psychological standpoint, yes, children need male and female role models, but they can get that influence elsewhere. Though, still, as I said, the only argument I'll half-ways accept is the latter, not the Bible. And I know a lot of other people who could care less about what it says because they are not under a faith that follows it. I'm not even going to get into how we pick and choose what we want to listen to.
I just...I don't understand how people can be so against certain things. It's like...it's not your issue, you aren't involved in any way shape or form. Gay marriage. Abortion. Interracial relationships. (Didn't the Cheerio's commercial get some uproar for that? So glad they keep playing it.) And all the other things that are controversial. Why must certain things be either illegal or 'not seen'? I advocate a lot few things, but that doesn't mean I'd do it.(Marijuana and prostitution being illegal for weed-brothels.. Hell, if you can tax it, it'll make the country more money, which is desperately needed as anyone who dens't live under a rock (maybe other countries, depending on how wordly said country/person is) can probably attest to.) Like abortion. It's your choice, do whatever. Would I personally have one? I don't see me ever doing that in any situation, even the most dire unless I had absolutely no choice. But that's me, not someone else. I highly doubt anyone goes around, paying for some expensive procedure, just because they got pregnant. Unless you're a sociopath, I don't see anyone being able to do that without some emotional toll. And, a small tangent: making abortion illegal won't do anything. It was illegal at one point, and that led to women using coat hangers and other backalley abortion procedures. Just because something is illegal, it won't put a stop to it.
But back to the topic of love. I fully believe that people should be able to love whoever, no matter what. Different race, same sex, different ages. If you love someone, you deserve to be able to be with them without some stigma saying you can't. I'm still waiting on a black and white gay couple where one is...20 and the other...35.Imagine what that would cause. (I say 35 only because I personally am not against a 15 year or so difference since said person is not old enough to be my parent. I haven't had such a relationship to see how well that would go, but I'm not like 'no, bad'.) But, hell, if you want to marry someone old enough to be your grandparent, go ahead, I don't care. You love 'em? They love you? Good. That's all that should matter.
I hope with Valentine's Day coming up that'll make whoever is deciding the case in my state a bit more leaning towards love for all, but not sure how well that'll go. I'll hope, for the sake of the couples and their children, as I know at least the legally married in California couple has a daughter. All that can be done with these sorts of things, is hope for the outcome that is more inline with the changing of the world.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Friday, February 7, 2014
Sunday, February 2, 2014
Feather
Why can't I jsut leave things be? I don't know, but my mind is whirring once more and...well, this happened: a story to a picture I had taken just yesterday >.>
The wind is always soft and gentle. The tall, pinkish grass always soft and caressing. The sky always perfectly streaked with fluffy clouds tinted pink by the sun. There's a grove of dead trees and a ruin, but it's not allowed to go there. Only stay where the light can touch your face, that's the rule.
But one day I broke the rule, and I'm not entirely certain if I regret it or not.
I remember spinning, laughing, playing with the white and black butterflies. But one of them started going towards the Dead Place. I followed because I knew that it shouldn't go there; there were reasons we didn't go there. My mother always told me stories about what is kept there. The dark is kept there, the bad is there. I didn't even know how to define the word 'bad' or 'dark' other than to point to the dead trees and darkened ruin. I knew nothing beyond the small, naive world I was born in, or created for....I am not certain which.
I remember being...not afraid, for i did not know fear. I felt...curious, since the butterfly kept going through what used to be a grand entryway. I followed. The ruin was big with no top left, only walls. Brown ivy clung to the breaking stone, dead trees shot up from the ground. I kept walking, even though i had long lost the butterfly. Another gaping opening. It led to what looked like a courtyard for there was a dried out fountain in the center and the open top seemed purposeful. There was this...strange plant there. It was certainly living and was as tall as I was. Thick, green vines curled up into an oval, little white flowers blooming off of it. But that was not the strange part. What was odd was the water that seemed suspended in the oval opening, like a mirror almost. I walked to it and gently laid my hand on the surface, little circles coming from my hand like when you skip a stone on water. When the surface smoothed again, I saw a bench facing away from me. A moment later, I saw the bench was under a tree. On green grass. A gray sky overhead. More. People milling about with...things over their heads to protect them from... Water. Water coming from the sky. And there were these tall things with windows in the distance, reaching into the sky. Things zipping pass on something black between the tall things and the grass.
I was amazed, enraptured. I had never seen such a thing, and I wanted to go touch everything. But I knew that Mother would be wanting to see me soon. I left reluctantly, but came back that night. I hadn't asked on the strange mirror, since I had this feeling I shouldn't. I never kept anything from anyone before. it was...strange, and a rush somehow.
This time when I put my hand on the mirror, it was the same scene, only there was a night sky littered with these bright spots up above and no water fell from the sky. I have never seen night before, never known its beauty. But...there was something wrong. No people were wandering, but there was a man on the bench. He was hunched over, shoulders shaking. I had never seen someone act so...oddly. Curious, I pushed my hand through the watery mirror and, once it went through, I smiled brightly and went in fully.
The air smelled funny. Tangy. Sick. And the things zipping on the black stuff sounded loud even from there. And there were poles emitting light that seemed to dull the night's strength. I didn't like it, but the man was so close now. I slipped over tot eh tree and peered around it, biting my lip. He was making these...choking sounds. Why did he sound like that? From where I was, i could see only his back. Short brown hair, black clothes. I puffed my cheeks out and moved to sit next to the man. "Why do you sound so strange?," I asked, reaching out to put a hand on his arm for his attention. The cloth of his clothes was strange. He turned to me, blue eyes wide and red. I could see now that he wore all black, other than a white shirt underneath his upper layer. Why was he wearing more than one layer? And what was that black thing around his neck and under his top layer? He only kept staring at me, so I poked his arm. "Why do you not answer?"
He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, but only got up and left then. I was confused, but did not think much of it. Instead, I slipped back to the water mirror that now showed the ruin's courtyard.
A while later I was dancing through the green grass near the bench, just as I would with the butterflies on the other side of the mirror. People stared. I didn't know why. And then i saw the man on the bench again, smiling amusedly. "You're not from here, are you?," he called, patting the spot next to him. I blinked, shook my head, and went to sit. We talked. He apologized for having left so abruptly before. He said he was surprised to see me here again. He said his name was Nick. I told him mine was Feather. He thought I was not serious, but soon believed me. I decided I liked him. He was sad, though. He didn't tell me why.
And then I had to go. I kissed his cheek and skipped off to the mirror.
We met more times, too. He ended up telling me that, the night I found him, his closest friend had died. I did not know what to say, for I did not know what death was. When I asked, he looked at me strangely, but explained. "It's...when people just...stop. Their bodies stay, but...they are gone. Their heart stops beating, and they don't breathe anymore. It happens to everyone sooner or later...but it's never easy to accept." I was horrified. How could one just...stop? I left. I asked my mother. She asked where I heard about death from.
"Will I die? Will you? Everyone dies!" I felt...I don't know. She assured me I wouldn't die, that she wouldn't...that...people where I live don't. She asked again where I heard about death from. I didn't answer.
I went back through the mirror. He was there with roses. He apologized, gave me the flowers. I didn't understand, but I smiled and said it was alright, that I was glad he told me. And i was. But now I was worried, even though I didn't know the word at the time. He could die. We talked more. He asked where I am from. I told him about the mirror.
"Are you only a dream and I've gone insane?," he asked me after I explained. I was confused, but assured him I was real. I left again. or tried. I couldn't go with the flowers, somehow I knew that. So I put them up in the tree, then left.
Months, though I only learned the word later, passed and the leaves in the tree were changing. The air felt colder. But I kept in my not so warm dress. He told me he love me one of those days. I didn't understand, but it felt right to say I felt the same. He kissed me, and I indulged in it. When I left, I couldn't help but run to my mother and tell her about the man I met. I didn't tell her about the mirror.
"Feather. You do not see him again. These...things only serve to weigh you down. And certain things will not allow you to be at your home. You must understand that," she said firmly, seeming not so happy with me. I didn't understand. Love felt...wonderful. I told her as much. She told me a whole list of things that would keep from returning. And one of those things was...something strange... She said that it was how some 'lesser creatures' have children, and that it was a very bad thing. I still didn't understand, but I knew better than to say so.
I couldn't go back in the winter. The water in the mirror froze up on a scene of white snow falling from the sky and on the ground and everywhere. It was pretty, but I wanted to see, to speak to, Nick. The months were long and slow. And now I knew about time.
But spring came and i went through. Nick was there. he too me in his arms and spun me around. I told him the mirror had frozen. He didn't seem to care. He kissed me and took my hand, leading me through the loud noise and choking air to one of those tall things. He called them buildings, apartments. There was this...box that we went into. he pressed something into the wall, it lit up, and the box moved. I was amazed. And when he showed me his apartment, I had to touch everything. He told me what things were called while he made food. Books. Table. Couch. TV. Bed. Remote. Laptop. Clock. Phone. Stove. Microwave. Refrigerator. Everything was so amazing. I even foudn something he called underwear, boxers. He didn't seem to like me trying to figure out what they were for. Especially when i put them in the microwave and pressed the buttons. We ate...chicken. I never had chicken. We talked. I had to leave, though he asked me to stay. I promised to come back for dinner again. I did. But...one night in summer, a year after we had met... A year after, things... It still makes me sad.
I decided to stay with him, sleep in his home one night. I didn't care if my mother were to find out because I was in love. He offered to stay on the couch, wanting me to have his bed. But there was room for us both, so I let him stay with me. I kissed him, in a way to say good night, but, after a moment of him seeming hesitant, he kissed me for a long while. I indulged. He put his hands on my hips and slowly moved so that he was over me, kissing my neck. I didn't know why, but I enjoyed it, so i let him. His kisses moved to where the dip of my dress stopped. he sighed and looked to me, biting his lip, and spoke. Now I wish he hadn't. "I love you...and I feel that, if I don't ask you this, I'll take advantage of you. I...want you, Feather."
I furrowed my brows, trailing my finger tips over his lips. "I love you, too. But...you have me...how can you want me?," I wondered.
He didn't explain so much as utter one word. A word my mother told me would keep me here, keep me from going home. But it wasn't that that had me say what I did. I...realized then that I could only serve to keep him from having certain things, and I did not belong here. If I stayed, it would end as surely as if I left. "Nick..I...have to go," i whispered, feeling this strange stinging in my eyes as I moved out form under him and off the bed. "I love you, but...I don't belong here. You asked if I was a dream once, remember? It seems that is all I can be...I'm sorry." I kissed him softly and quickly left before he could say anything. Something wet was on my cheeks, coming from my eyes. Crying. He told me about this. I...was crying. And I felt so...sad...
I ran back to the mirror.
Mother found me sitting under a tree, the butterflies staying from me as I wove a new daisy chain the next day. I had left my old one in his apartment. "You went to him." I nodded, cheeks still wet with tears. "I told you it would not work, Feather. Now you know."
I nodded. "I know, Mother," I whispered, "Certain things only serve to hurt. I know where I belong." And I know where i want to be. But I never told her that.
But one day I broke the rule, and I'm not entirely certain if I regret it or not.
I remember spinning, laughing, playing with the white and black butterflies. But one of them started going towards the Dead Place. I followed because I knew that it shouldn't go there; there were reasons we didn't go there. My mother always told me stories about what is kept there. The dark is kept there, the bad is there. I didn't even know how to define the word 'bad' or 'dark' other than to point to the dead trees and darkened ruin. I knew nothing beyond the small, naive world I was born in, or created for....I am not certain which.
I remember being...not afraid, for i did not know fear. I felt...curious, since the butterfly kept going through what used to be a grand entryway. I followed. The ruin was big with no top left, only walls. Brown ivy clung to the breaking stone, dead trees shot up from the ground. I kept walking, even though i had long lost the butterfly. Another gaping opening. It led to what looked like a courtyard for there was a dried out fountain in the center and the open top seemed purposeful. There was this...strange plant there. It was certainly living and was as tall as I was. Thick, green vines curled up into an oval, little white flowers blooming off of it. But that was not the strange part. What was odd was the water that seemed suspended in the oval opening, like a mirror almost. I walked to it and gently laid my hand on the surface, little circles coming from my hand like when you skip a stone on water. When the surface smoothed again, I saw a bench facing away from me. A moment later, I saw the bench was under a tree. On green grass. A gray sky overhead. More. People milling about with...things over their heads to protect them from... Water. Water coming from the sky. And there were these tall things with windows in the distance, reaching into the sky. Things zipping pass on something black between the tall things and the grass.
I was amazed, enraptured. I had never seen such a thing, and I wanted to go touch everything. But I knew that Mother would be wanting to see me soon. I left reluctantly, but came back that night. I hadn't asked on the strange mirror, since I had this feeling I shouldn't. I never kept anything from anyone before. it was...strange, and a rush somehow.
This time when I put my hand on the mirror, it was the same scene, only there was a night sky littered with these bright spots up above and no water fell from the sky. I have never seen night before, never known its beauty. But...there was something wrong. No people were wandering, but there was a man on the bench. He was hunched over, shoulders shaking. I had never seen someone act so...oddly. Curious, I pushed my hand through the watery mirror and, once it went through, I smiled brightly and went in fully.
The air smelled funny. Tangy. Sick. And the things zipping on the black stuff sounded loud even from there. And there were poles emitting light that seemed to dull the night's strength. I didn't like it, but the man was so close now. I slipped over tot eh tree and peered around it, biting my lip. He was making these...choking sounds. Why did he sound like that? From where I was, i could see only his back. Short brown hair, black clothes. I puffed my cheeks out and moved to sit next to the man. "Why do you sound so strange?," I asked, reaching out to put a hand on his arm for his attention. The cloth of his clothes was strange. He turned to me, blue eyes wide and red. I could see now that he wore all black, other than a white shirt underneath his upper layer. Why was he wearing more than one layer? And what was that black thing around his neck and under his top layer? He only kept staring at me, so I poked his arm. "Why do you not answer?"
He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again, but only got up and left then. I was confused, but did not think much of it. Instead, I slipped back to the water mirror that now showed the ruin's courtyard.
A while later I was dancing through the green grass near the bench, just as I would with the butterflies on the other side of the mirror. People stared. I didn't know why. And then i saw the man on the bench again, smiling amusedly. "You're not from here, are you?," he called, patting the spot next to him. I blinked, shook my head, and went to sit. We talked. He apologized for having left so abruptly before. He said he was surprised to see me here again. He said his name was Nick. I told him mine was Feather. He thought I was not serious, but soon believed me. I decided I liked him. He was sad, though. He didn't tell me why.
And then I had to go. I kissed his cheek and skipped off to the mirror.
We met more times, too. He ended up telling me that, the night I found him, his closest friend had died. I did not know what to say, for I did not know what death was. When I asked, he looked at me strangely, but explained. "It's...when people just...stop. Their bodies stay, but...they are gone. Their heart stops beating, and they don't breathe anymore. It happens to everyone sooner or later...but it's never easy to accept." I was horrified. How could one just...stop? I left. I asked my mother. She asked where I heard about death from.
"Will I die? Will you? Everyone dies!" I felt...I don't know. She assured me I wouldn't die, that she wouldn't...that...people where I live don't. She asked again where I heard about death from. I didn't answer.
I went back through the mirror. He was there with roses. He apologized, gave me the flowers. I didn't understand, but I smiled and said it was alright, that I was glad he told me. And i was. But now I was worried, even though I didn't know the word at the time. He could die. We talked more. He asked where I am from. I told him about the mirror.
"Are you only a dream and I've gone insane?," he asked me after I explained. I was confused, but assured him I was real. I left again. or tried. I couldn't go with the flowers, somehow I knew that. So I put them up in the tree, then left.
Months, though I only learned the word later, passed and the leaves in the tree were changing. The air felt colder. But I kept in my not so warm dress. He told me he love me one of those days. I didn't understand, but it felt right to say I felt the same. He kissed me, and I indulged in it. When I left, I couldn't help but run to my mother and tell her about the man I met. I didn't tell her about the mirror.
"Feather. You do not see him again. These...things only serve to weigh you down. And certain things will not allow you to be at your home. You must understand that," she said firmly, seeming not so happy with me. I didn't understand. Love felt...wonderful. I told her as much. She told me a whole list of things that would keep from returning. And one of those things was...something strange... She said that it was how some 'lesser creatures' have children, and that it was a very bad thing. I still didn't understand, but I knew better than to say so.
I couldn't go back in the winter. The water in the mirror froze up on a scene of white snow falling from the sky and on the ground and everywhere. It was pretty, but I wanted to see, to speak to, Nick. The months were long and slow. And now I knew about time.
But spring came and i went through. Nick was there. he too me in his arms and spun me around. I told him the mirror had frozen. He didn't seem to care. He kissed me and took my hand, leading me through the loud noise and choking air to one of those tall things. He called them buildings, apartments. There was this...box that we went into. he pressed something into the wall, it lit up, and the box moved. I was amazed. And when he showed me his apartment, I had to touch everything. He told me what things were called while he made food. Books. Table. Couch. TV. Bed. Remote. Laptop. Clock. Phone. Stove. Microwave. Refrigerator. Everything was so amazing. I even foudn something he called underwear, boxers. He didn't seem to like me trying to figure out what they were for. Especially when i put them in the microwave and pressed the buttons. We ate...chicken. I never had chicken. We talked. I had to leave, though he asked me to stay. I promised to come back for dinner again. I did. But...one night in summer, a year after we had met... A year after, things... It still makes me sad.
I decided to stay with him, sleep in his home one night. I didn't care if my mother were to find out because I was in love. He offered to stay on the couch, wanting me to have his bed. But there was room for us both, so I let him stay with me. I kissed him, in a way to say good night, but, after a moment of him seeming hesitant, he kissed me for a long while. I indulged. He put his hands on my hips and slowly moved so that he was over me, kissing my neck. I didn't know why, but I enjoyed it, so i let him. His kisses moved to where the dip of my dress stopped. he sighed and looked to me, biting his lip, and spoke. Now I wish he hadn't. "I love you...and I feel that, if I don't ask you this, I'll take advantage of you. I...want you, Feather."
I furrowed my brows, trailing my finger tips over his lips. "I love you, too. But...you have me...how can you want me?," I wondered.
He didn't explain so much as utter one word. A word my mother told me would keep me here, keep me from going home. But it wasn't that that had me say what I did. I...realized then that I could only serve to keep him from having certain things, and I did not belong here. If I stayed, it would end as surely as if I left. "Nick..I...have to go," i whispered, feeling this strange stinging in my eyes as I moved out form under him and off the bed. "I love you, but...I don't belong here. You asked if I was a dream once, remember? It seems that is all I can be...I'm sorry." I kissed him softly and quickly left before he could say anything. Something wet was on my cheeks, coming from my eyes. Crying. He told me about this. I...was crying. And I felt so...sad...
I ran back to the mirror.
Mother found me sitting under a tree, the butterflies staying from me as I wove a new daisy chain the next day. I had left my old one in his apartment. "You went to him." I nodded, cheeks still wet with tears. "I told you it would not work, Feather. Now you know."
I nodded. "I know, Mother," I whispered, "Certain things only serve to hurt. I know where I belong." And I know where i want to be. But I never told her that.
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