First, a bit of random, and I blame the fact my brain seems to be not working at a hundred percent today, as well that I sort of fangirled over something I saw on a suscriber notice. (Swear I felt my mental gears just stop working for a few seconds earlier today when I'd been in the middle of a post. Hopefully sleep will end up remedying this.) But the random is that the Fashion for Life event started recently, and, if you're like me, you like to go peek at the builds of these events and fairs that crop up. The whole general theme of this event is transportation, which is represented in different ways on the different sims; so that should be interesting. Granted I've recently found I like better to look around these things not on my lonesome, so...we'll see how that goes. Likely will end up as another late night excursion, but shall see how that goes yet since I've yet to ask anyone anything. Okay, fine, one person because I don't know really anybody else I'd want to ask but still.
Ehm, but the event does have the proceeds benefiting Relay for Life, so that's always a plus as cancer is not fun. It's actually a pretty widespread thing, when you think about it. Not good and something that will take a while to actually find cures for. Thankfully I don't know anyone who has truly had cancer affect them, the closest I've had to deal with is a brief thing with my dad and skin cancer which was caught really early so couldn't develop but so much. Taken care of, so all good there. But there's enough people who have had to see loved ones die form it and...it's never a good thing. Especially if you end up labeled as terminal. But there's always hope things will be made better for future generations. I highly doubt it'll be in my lifetime, or even the next generations, but who knows, right?
When people design things for an event, and when it's benefiting something like this, they seem to do really well with the sims. Like the Fantasy Faire, for example. Gorgeous sims, good cause. And that has me more wanting to go look at the sims for this event sometime. I'm also going to leave this link here because it made me tear up a little (maybe it's just because of how I am it did, or maybe not, hard to tell) and because I just found it so very...amazing in its own right. Jewelry put together from beyond almost. Click here to read, if curious.
Now, this half will contrast quite a bit with the first half, though it follows along the liens of creativity. So that's why there's a random picture above this; might replace it later when I'm awake enough to take a new, fitting pic and for a reason to play with a prop and pose pack from the Serafilms Labyrinth event. I'm also going to warn the following is a bit long, so...bare with me. If this wasn't on the very public internet and just a conversation with a friend, it would be longer. So count yourself lucky.
But earlier today I was talking to someone and I mentioned my lack of creativity. See, that's the thing...I don't lack in creativity when it comes to small scale things, just larger, more than one or two people things. Currently I have Armalla in the middle of plotting something that just popped into my head during a rp the other day, and hopefully this idea will come to fruition soon since I'm kind of excited for it, even if it'll end awfully for her. I know, I'm an awful person for looking forward to such a thing, but...it'll be different, and fun in its own way. Like her being stuck with a demon was fun in its own way, so shall this be. One of those things that has you sit there, wondering just exactly how this'll work, basically. Anyhow, that's just one little example that isn't even really a matter of my having creativity, just that I can bullshit ideas off of other people's starting points. But, still, it's a small scale thing. If it involved more than two others, I would have not come up with that probably.
Or, worse, I would have and not have said anything.
What I think is my real problem, is that I come up with larger scale ideas from time to time, but I don't act on them because I'm afraid of someone correcting me, publicly or privately. More worried about the publicly bit, but either way it would have my confidence be shot. I know this is how I would feel from past experience.
If anyone reading this has ever been a lead on a rp sim, then you know you're expected to come up with at least one idea, no matter if there are multiple leads or not; the others will come up with ideas and you'll kind of just...be in a corner if you don't. I love my corner, I love being under the radar, less drama that way, but sometimes being in a corner is a really bad thing. Really bad. I have small ideas come to mind from time to time, but I never say anything on them because I don't want to be doing something wrong and end up having to be corrected. I don't want to be corrected because I know my confidence will drop for a bit and I'll just feel plain stupid for thinking whatever the idea may be.
I've played on the sim I'm on for a few years now, and I want to do something, but I'm too nervous to. I want to give, but there's nothing for me to with how rare my ideas really are. Now, ask me to decorate something, or take a picture, and I can do that...just...not come up with larger ideas that I feel confident enough in to speak up on it. Let alone just try slipping it in there without saying anything prior. As it is, there's a reason my character's magic stands as it is, and why she hardly uses it, and why I'm really, extremely careful when it comes to magic type posts when I'm around people who I am not comfortable with. Same reason why I don't put forth ideas when I have them if in relation to larger things.
There are people who send notices on things that I could never dream of sending a notice on, because I'd be nervous and not want to be told to not do that or something else. And I'm just talking about the guild I'm one of the IC leads of, not the whole sim. Trying to work on it, though, so I don't feel like a dead weight.
The real reason of my writing on this is because...I think it's something to do with how my own personal anonymity is lowered quite a bit when it comes to Cadair, the sim that's more or less like a home to me by this point. While SL is, as I've stated a few times before, a rather anonymous place, as is granted by the online world, once you've been in a place long enough, it's basically gone. This applies more to those who frequent roleplay sims, I think, since, if you stay long enough, your character (if you don't change characters every other week) and/or your avatar is more or less known by at least a few people. Granted, I'm more in the corner, like I've said, because of my own insecurities, but with others, admins aside, they are known. You know they are there. Whether you like it or not, they're there. Now, chances are if it's not liked they're there, then it's not for good reasons they're known, but still. One of my friends is known by a healthy amount of people because of all that she's done and organized and thought of; and I'm not even going to mention the fact she owns a fantasy shop which actually has some neat things. (Cue shameless advertising) I also have known Taeem since before he was an admin, and he did a lot before he was pushed up to admin, so you can bet people knew/know who he was/is.
That is just two examples of people who aren't exactly anonymous anymore for good reasons.
Yes, of course, you still can have your RL self hidden away behind the screen, but you still hold the potential to be known if you've been around someplace, and have actually done things, since you've been there. If you do things, you will loose a layer of that secretiveness. I never really thought of that as a possibility until today when I started thinking about how people I know are names pretty solidly associated with the sim, which leads to them being more in the spotlight and heard of. And the fact they are heard of...it's sort of like with celebrities, though to a lesser degree; you know of them, you might know a few things done, but you don't really know them until you interact with them. But, of course, on a roleplay sim chances are you did interact with them at some point. And no one is lining up for autographs from these known people. Like I said, a few differences, but similar in its own way.
Thinking of anonymity as something with layers actually seems to be an accurate description. Only so many will get past certain layers, and depending on where you are and what you do, a layer or two may just be gone by default. Strangers get halted quickly. Acquaintances a bit further. Friends even deeper. Family and significant others even further, though friends may be on par with these two groups depending on how you are. Nothing is ever really one sided, or as simple as you'd like to think it, not even if the mysterious thing of being anonymous.