Winter

How it should look here, since colors keep going all funky.

     So, it's winter...well, it'll be officially winter sooner or later, but most places now feel winter. Even where I live, we're feeling winter if you don't count today where it was around 70F. But since the temperature has dropped dramatically again (probably pining for attention) and I've managed to get some pics done, I thought to do Strawberry Singh's winter season challenge. Now on wards to questions!

1. What is the December/Winter season like where you live? Hm...moody 'bout sums it up. As mentioned before, it was 70 today, 65 yesterday, and generally a warm week. And now it's back to 30, or will be. There's also never any snow, either too warm or too cold...like there must be some forcefield that keeps snow away, since you can watch on radars as snow goes around my city. But it's nice when there is actually snow that sticks and is worth something.
2. When you think of winter, what's the first thing that pops into your head? Eggnog, warm apple cider, and cold. Usually around Thanksgiving there is eggnog in the house and last through most of winter, new cartons obviously. Cider is only a recent thing, but it's become tied as eggnog to my winters, probably the two things I look forward to the most. Cold on the other hand...well...
3. Have you ever played any extreme winter sports? Unless sledding suddenly counts, no. Never been in a place with enough snow to actually do anything...and, even then, I'd stick to sledding...or cozying up by a fire. Yea, daredevil, totally. :P
4. What do you like most about this season? Snow when I get it. My philosophy is that it shouldn't be cold unless it's snowing, otherwise cold is pointless and hibernating should become a thing. So...definitely snow is my favorite bit since there's much to do with it, and the cold then has some reason.
5. Do you celebrate Christmas, Hannukkah, Kwanzaa or another holiday during this time of year? Christmas, yes. My Christmases have always been small, but always nice. I still remember my brother and I, once we weren't living in the same rooms as each other but were still cute and adorable, alternating years we'd sleep in each other's rooms. Then we'd wake up much too early, go to the tree which looked so...magical with the lights blinking in the dark and the presents underneath. We were good children so we didn't open the presents...we just raided our stockings. Always there was a stuffed animal in them, so, after searching the stockings and refilling them, we'd go back to whichever room with out new stuffed animal and sleep. Or we'd go into our parent's room and wake them up. So, good memories and hopefully there will be more.

   

Why this one isn't color-twisted, no idea.

    Image above? Illustration of forcefield that keeps snow away :P Oh, yea, maybe not the most wintery, but that's how my winters look for the most part, other than the obviously missing laptop, that is. But, hey, reading is good for you, so it balances out somewhat...I hope at least.

    But here's hoping to snow (for those who lack it) and a wonderful winter for all of y'all!

The Little Things

    The little things always have the most impact, if you ask me. The little things that just add some adorableness to a day and help it end on a good note. Now, I go to sleep after the few who I actually consider friends *curses timezones* so my day doesn't always end with a good night that, somehow, has become a sort of...custom almost, unless I go to bed early, that is or someone goes to bed really late. That's actually one of those little things that help with days ending nicely...cause...I don't know. It's just one of those things that, if it suddenly stopped, I'd miss it. Strange, maybe, but, eh...that's how it is.
    Today I didn't go to bed early, obviously, but I went looking at some places I heard of and...I found some things that just made me smile for some reason. I love when people take time with their sims, even if that sim is mainly for a store. The whole sim is just...winter-y and adorable and...I don't know, I just love it.

It's a squirrel! With a nut!

    Maybe I'm easily entertained, but the squirrel is just...aww... And then something else caught my easily attracted eye...

    Looks so sad...but somehow forced me to take a pic of it. Of course there was more, too...

    Ice-skating bears. Yep, exactly. And there's more roaming on the ice, too. :D
    I'll admit it, I went to this sim, not only because some time back I wanted to go look (and didn't even realize it was a store) but because I wanted to check out the Advent hunt on the sim. A free hunt, mind you, which just had me do it all the more. And I'm glad I did, the sim is just so...I just love it. I'm going to have to go back and look around the whole thing, along with another sim I really like sometime. It's nice to find these little unexpected things, a nice start to December I do think....though I'm somehow more interested in the 3rd than 1st for some reasons.

    While I highly doubt anyone really reads this...well, other than one person, that is. Either way, here's the SLurl to Sway's, who's creations look just as cute as her sim :)

Stress

    I know, another post, but I already said that I'm all thinking today. This is going to be so far from SL-related probably, but I...I don't know. Maybe it's something new that'll be an addition to this blog; non-sl stuff. I don't really talk to people and writing some things down that I don't care if others see or not is..I don't know. I'm more of a writer than a speaker, more of a listener than one who needs someone to listen.
    I finished the application for a college I desperately want to get into today. I won't know anything until January, but I have it finished. It's finished and... I hardly ever stress but I'm stressing over not getting in. It's like...this will be one more step into my future that I hope will be bright.
    And now I'm distracted because I've got Pirates of the Caribbean on TV and the multiple Jacks scene... God, I'm such a..I don't know, strange one?
    Uff, okay, right. College admission... I've never been top of my class, that has been my friends. In high school and onward, and this college is more private than open so... I don't know. I'm stressing for some reason and I can't help it. Stress is part of life, right? But I never, ever stress...unless it's about upsetting someone I care about. But otherwise? Nope, I am so stress-free it isn't funny. But soon as I start to stress, i get all panicky and anxious and...pfft...
    Maybe that's why I torture Malla so much. She gets all the stress I don't get so that I can work it out preemptively.

How real is it?

    I feel thoughtful today. I don't know why, just am and my thoughts have meandered to what is SL really? People put in their profiles all the time that SL and RL are two separate entities, and others put that SL is ingrained into their RL. So, which is right? Is one right and the other wrong? I guess it really depends how you present yourself in this virtual world. Is your pixel self you reflected? Or are the pixels just that, pixels? Are you honest to people you consider friends? Or is it all an act? How much do you divulge?
    Personally I think that, unless every last thing you type is a lie, you cannot completely separate yourself from your pixels. Feelings are real, even if the medium used for them is virtual. The friends you make can be as real and lasting as well as just as backstabby. Sure, SL time seems to move so differently than RL somehow, but it still is real.
    Do your pixels look like you? If yes, how much? Is this avatar your fantasy? Why do you have him/her look like they do?
    Then there's roleplay. Where are your lines? How bold are your lines? How bold are the lines other people draw? The person your character is married to, do both of you only play the love or is some of it real? Is that IC/OOC border more vague for you than the other? Vice versa? Where does the role start and end? Do you wish that you could truly have a relationship with the person, SL-wise or RL-wise, instead of just roleplaying one? Is there truth to what you play on your own and with others?
    So many questions to ask and think on when it comes to SL and how involved you are in it. So much is just...just...confusing if you think deeply. And what makes it all the worse is how some people don't want to admit some things to themselves that, if asked any of these questions, all the answers may be lies that they think truth.
    All of these questions? I don't know all of what my answers would be. It's freezing out, I have snugly pajamas and blanket...think I'm going to spend time on pondering them for myself.

Is it the dream we hold firmly onto come morning? 

Happy Halloween!

    I'd like to begin this by asking: why, SL, why? *sobs in corner*
    No matter what I did, for the past three days I could never get the bottom half of the system-layer bits of my SL costume to load. It was either I had on pants/alpha form the last outfit I had on, only on the lower-half mind you, or my legs were all gray or my boot alpha wouldn't work or it was all fuzzy texture. Now, it might be I was wearing too much on my lower half, since other outfits worked just fine, and this one had two pants layer plus socks on (for the bloody bits) but...I don't' know. I just gave up after a certain point and decided to just go with the fuzzy textures, since that was better than my other options.
    Okay, now, onto the nice part of this post :P Halloween (my favorite holiday, btw) was yesterday and, if I hadn't been arguing with my outfit, I would have had this up then, but better a day late than never, right? So here is Strawberry Singh's Halloween meme.  Please do imagine non-fuzzy textures on blood on said textures and legs.

Still not entirely sure if my blood or not. Was a messy event :P

Had to add a closeup of the hair, too lovely to not.

    1) Did you go trick or treating as a child? Yes, I did all the way up to...seventh grade, I think. I loved it so very much especially since after my brother, parents, and I would go home to celebrate my dad's birthday.. Basically my brother and I had to sleep off a sugar rush come the end of the night :P
    2) What was the best costume you ever saw or wore yourself? Hm...as for seeing... That has to be when one of my dressed as Slender. This was just the other year, yes, but...well, it was fun. We had gone walking to see if another of our friends wanted to hang out with the group of us that was doing a small Halloween thing...and we had the Slender-dressed friend stand on random corners as people drove by. A lot of people sped up soon as they saw him...and then, of course, he scared the friend we were going to get. *grins* Mean, I know, but, well...
    Maybe it's the memory that makes it the best costume, but still counts in my book :)
    3) What is your most vivid memory about Halloween? When I was about four to six, I remember coming to aunt's neighborhood and going to one specific house. We had gone up to get candy and this guy dressed as some freaky-looking-old-thing jumped out and screamed...which essentially had me and my brother running down to our parents, crying. Maybe not the most pleasant memory...but now that I look back on it, it seems silly I was scared...but being little has different rules.
    4) What is the scariest movie you have ever seen? The Grudge, no doubt. Maybe it's because I was, like, ten when I watched it...but that is the scariest movie I have seen. My brother fell asleep as we were watching it and my mom didn't turn it off because she thought it wouldn't scare me so bad. But it did and...I always had to have something at the foot of my bed, feet tucked under covers and a bunch of other things because I was afraid the grudge would come to get me. Took me about two weeks or so, but I got over it thankfully. I still won't watch the first one or the second one or whatever number and sure as hell wont' watch the Japanese original, but I'm not afraid to get killed by a ghostly mother-thing.
    5) Do you ever get nightmares after watching a scary movie? I used to, but now? No. I just scream and bust eardrums during the movie.
    6) Are you superstitious? If so, name at least one superstition of yours. Had to think on this one, but I don't think I really have anything that would qualify as a superstition. I don't have a lucky anything or believe breaking a mirror brings bad luck...so, no, actually. And that actually surprises me.
    7) What will you be doing this year for Halloween, if anything, in SL and RL? I didn't do anything in SL besides 'grr' and 'argh' over the textures of the lower half of my clothes...well that and RP as per usual. In RL, I passed out candy to the very few children in my neighborhood (and, yes, less children equals more candy for me :P ).

    So, happy belated Halloween/Samhain/Thursday to you all and hope all you enjoyed yesterday even if just another Thursday for ya.

Hair: *Alice Project* Delirium - Bloody Brown (*Was free on the 27th, up to 50L now*)
Blood: .DN. Blood Spatter (*Available in multiple layers, tattoo and clothing*)
Outfit: ::Envious:: PurpleHills Dress
Skin: .::WoW Skins::. GG June Nahla Milk
Eyes: [Taffy] Chapel - Hazel (*free on MP*)
Lipstick: R.icielli - Lipstick DOLL / 04 (*free on MP*)
Tears: 3-tears-Mascara
Eye Shadow: **NOYA** Face Make Up Tribal Small
Choker: "Captured Heart" barbed wire choker (*free on MP*)
Pose/Prop: SN ~ Mass Hysteria (*for Mass Hysteria hunt, ended 31st*)

Really Don't Understand Some People

    So often people can act like they know everything and treat everything as a power game. It is rather upsetting, especially when the ones who end up pulled into those games are either yourself or someone you care for. When people act as if they know everything, generally their way of talking (or typing in SL's case) is very uppity and obnoxious. Some people may actually think these people funny when they are, in fact, insulting them and trying to hide it as a 'joke'. Personally, I'm not sure who of the two I would want to hit over the head with a shovel more. Some people are just so pretentious it isn't funny. Then these people get all pissy if you say 'okay, you need to stop being an ass' or something in nicer terms. Not to mention if you dare suggest they are wrong. They always, always, always must be right. If they are proven wrong, they storm off, only to come back later and have it all happen again. As for friends? They're only friends with people who think exactly how they do and agree all. the. time. I don't get it. I like it when friends don't always agree with my thoughts and ideas, it proves they can think! Do they just want 'friends' who don't think for themselves? Probably, sadly.
    Then there are the ones who play for power. This may not be as often in the whole of SL as much as roleplay places, I cannot say for sure, but the latter place has it too often. I'm not sure if I want to laugh or cry when i see these people trying to work their way into some 'power' position or make 'powerful' friends. It is honestly sickening. As I said, I'm mainly going off of how roleplay places can be. Thankfully I'm more in the background as well as a woman in both avatar and RL. It seems most often it is women-avis going after more incharge men-avis, but that is not to say men-avis are entirely free of going after higher up women-avis; that just seems to be less often. But the ones who go after these people...they will ignore all others around possibly, do something dramatic to gain attention, bother someone in IM when it should be clear they are thinking 'fuck off'. I...I don't know how some people handle these people peacefully. Without even thinking, I know I would be likely to just straight up tell them to go put something somewhere, but others? Others somehow manage to just deal with it and vent to someone about someone else's stupidity.
    I really don't know how people think that being so clingy and obvious is the way to get you friends (or more) with someone in 'power'. Do they honestly think they'll manage to get status by acting like they do? Why not just have fun? Roleplay is for fun, not power. And if this does actually happen elsewhere than just roleplay sims...that's...just all the more sad. I cannot quiet explain how it is more sad, since words fail me now, but it is.
    Why this rant? I'm logged in and watching OOC (out-of-character) chat for the roleplay sim I'm in. I want to beat people with shovels, but, instead, I'm blogging. Isn't that nice of me to bother any readers instead of going shovel crazy? :P
    But, out of curiosity, whoever is here reading this, do you have any insight to this? If you do, please dear gods share, because I just have no clue what goes through either of the type of people's minds and I would just love to understand.

Dysfunctionality

    I finally got an idea! I've been sitting here, looking tot he topics for the Writer's Block Chapter Five thinking that there's an idea somewhere...just...where? And then it hit me; an idea for the dysfunctionality prompt. I don't know how, it just did. It hit me, so here it is. Enjoy :)

    Dysfunctional.
                                How can one label a person or thing dysfunctional?
                               If it works, it is functioning.
                                                                                                                         They call us dysfunctional.
                                                       They claim I should leave him.
   But we love one another and we always find our way back to each other, how is that wrong?
                                                                                                                He's broken my heart.
                                                      I've broken his.
                       He's been hurt so many times by others.
                   
                                        I've been hurt so many times by others.
                                                    When the world is broken, who is                                                                                                                                                     whole?
  We fit, if barely.                                                            
                                            A puzzle that does not quite seem right.
                                                             That is labeled.
                                                              Dysfunctional.
                               

                                    If everything is not perfect, it is
                                                                              dysfunctional.
                                            But what is perfect?
                                                         

                                            He hurts me with his wild claims.
                     I hurt him by my mistakes.
                                                            But he makes me feel whole again.
                             I help ease his pain, help him see the light through the fog.
                                                                                                                                               Dysfunctional.
                                                                       
                                                                                 I'm sane,
                                                                                     or used to be,
                                                               how can that label apply?
                                  Broken?
                                                       Since a while.
                                                                                              Dysfunctional?
                                                                                                                           I say no.
                                                                          The world says yes.
               All the world is is dysfuntionality.