Sunday, March 2, 2014


    Tired, frustrated, and hating how plans that could help things always fall off a steep cliff. I'm used to plans dying, but when there's very little of choice for a distraction from frustration? Yea, that doesn't help. So, yea, it's just one of those not so great days where there's only so much to do to help it. But writing helps, sort of. At least it gives me something to try and do, even if it's writing about how not so good I feel, it helps somewhat.
    I don't get frustrated easily, but when I do, it's...difficult to deal with because it's not a small thing. Have to work on that, i guess, but I prefer to frustrated as rarely as possibly instead of being so just to work on dealing with it when my original plans of distraction fall through. I don't like plans, cause the pretty much never work out anyhow. Plans and frustration, if I could banish those things, I would. But, sadly, they are two things that must be lived with, and learned to be dealt with. Today's clearly going to be a long day, but maybe it can yet be salvaged. I'm a pessimist when it comes to me, not others, but there's still that thing called hope that most people have. If we didn't have hope, what would we have? Nothing except depression probably. Hope is that driving force we all have, so, even when you feel like crying for the sheer frustration of whatever, you still have to hope there's something that will come of it sooner or alter. Like...original plans died like a squirrel under a tire, but maybe there's something else to be had for that happening? Maybe. Maybe not. Personally, I'm still hoping for something good to come of it, but my doubts are high. I doubt it, but still that little thing of hope which could make things better or worse, depending on the out come.
    Starting to think I'll maybe take a quick nap before diving into the source of my frustration. As much as I'd rather avoid things, I have to just deal with it for a few reasons. Maybe it won't be so bad once I start doing stuff, but I don't know yet. We'll see. But I'm still hoping for something else after, if I'm lucky at all for once. But we'll see. And always keep hope. The moment you lose hope, you lose everything that could potentially good. Once hope is gone, there is nothing but a hollow shell. Once hope is gone, that's how actual true depression can blind side you. Hope is one of our building blocks needed to deal with all the awful things in the world. Hope helps us live. Hope helps us be human. Hope is...hope.

    And, as an addition, stuff can happen so long as you give that hopeful energy. Least it did for me this once.

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