Yes, I haven't blogged in a while, but...there's been things keeping me from it. Mostly just RL stuff affecting my mood for anything picture or blog related. I'm back, though, and figured why not start with this neat challenge?
Recently I came across a blog I have yet to peer at and saw a challenge that piqued my interest. I'm not sure how I got to it, but that's besides the point. You can read about the challenge itself here. Now, being the little hopeful writer I am, I couldn't much resist to put something in for this week. But before we get to that, I want to mention a couple things on my styling. The hair was one of the gifts at Hair Fair and, incase you're wondering, I chose the streaked naturals pack with the brown with blue streaks for that one hair. Probably when I have lindens I'll go to that store to find other styles and such stuff since...I like the HUD and stuff that can be done with it. Even if I were to get only one color pack with the paid for one, there still would be quite a few options it looks like.
Anyway the undershirt was part of an outfit I got from a friend last summer I think. So it can't be bought on it's own as far as I'm aware. The top was also a gift from Hair Fair; chances are it's in the Heartless store, not sure though. And as i mentioned below, and probably on some past blog, the necklace is from an outfit. A very beautiful dress, yes, but if you only want the necklace, you would have to get the whole outfit that comes with it.
Onto the challenge: I chose the prompt 'Losing my Religion'. I originally thought of the song and doing something inspired off of that, but I ended up changing my mind to what my entry is now; something a bit recent and more me. In anycase, my entry to the challenge is right below the picture. Hope y'all enjoy.
My grandma died when I was about five. That death, the first death I really ever dealt with, really impacted me and still saddens me to this day. My family and I still went to church once she died, but it was less. My dad didn't go because the pews hurt his back, which he has problems with without wooden benches. My aunt and cousin didn't go with us. We also moved and changed churches. That wasn't too bad, since my brother and I would go to Sunday school soon as we changed. I really did enjoy speaking and playing with the other children. It was fun. That was what I looked forward to when going to church. That and my frilly, Sunday dresses and grownup shoes. My brother and I also joined the children's choir. That was fun, too, just like my school choir...only more religion based.
Again, time moved on and I grew up. Once I couldn't really go to Sunday school and once I had done my first communion, I grew bored. Sitting on uncomfortable wooden benches, listening to a priest go on about things I'd heard a hundred times already...I didn't like it. Slowly, my brother, mom, and I went to church less and less. We only went on Christmas and Palm Sunday. My brother and I stopped joining the choir. Then my brother stopped wanting to go. Then my mom and I only went on Palm Sunday. At some point...we all just stopped, mostly due to transportation issues, but we still stopped. That's not to say my mom doesn't want to go, she's probably the only one who does. She's the one who asked me if I would want to do confirmation or not. I didn't do it, but I would go to church with her if she wanted except that I don't consider myself Catholic anymore. I tried to cling to my faith by praying, going to church with friends...but it didn't work. I enjoyed going to church with friends, yes, but the words that were being spoken and sung just didn't click anymore.
I believe that I have grown and moved pass my 'old' religion and found one that fits me better. One that...I'm not constantly questioning. Yes, I'm not going all by what I'm told by whatever book, but it still fits more than believing in what Catholics, and all other Christian faiths, believe. I think I may have been more enamored by the idea of family and friendship than the actual belief system. It was all the children my age, the whole thing of my family going together, all of that that made me care. I prayed when I was little to this big man in the sky who would make everything better. I kept thinking that my grandma was looking down on me and keeping me safe. I'll admit those are nice thoughts, but they aren't what I believe. Not truly. Others may believe that and I know my parents, and probably my brother, do...but not me. I'm lucky to have openminded parents who didn't get all ranty when I mentioned I was looking into other religions.
I am who I am and my beliefs are the same. I may have lost my first religion, but I gained a new one. I know this has been said by others before, but people really shouldn't be afraid to let go of something simply for fear of drifting about in endless space. Sometimes you have to let go to find something you want to hang on to. Losing doesn't always mean you have one thing less.
Hair: *Alice Project* Erica - Create Your Own (-Mesh-)
Necklace: Morgana Necklace (-included with ViGo Morgana Dress-)
Top: Heartless: Laced Crop Top (Black) (-Mesh-)
Undershirt: Gypsy Summer Shirt
Pose: .:Still Life:. [pose] crumbling wall freebie