So, I'm sitting here, not having gone to my one class of the day since my stomach still feels funny from last night, but not as bad at least. But I am still being productive, in a way, in other ways I'm procrastinating and moping a bit. I don't like change so much when I'm just dropped into it. It's like how you have to let fish get 'adjusted' to the water before letting them out of the bag into the tank; I have to adjust to things slowly otherwise it causes me to stress a bit. And come August I'm being dropped into a new tank, so to speak.
Yesterday I got the accepted student guide for the college I'm moving to come the end of the summer and...maybe that's why my stomach is flipping? I don't know. I just know the thought makes me all...nervous. I'll be living in a dorm, obviously with another person, and in a..women's college aka all women, no guys, in one small school. Fun, right? I mean, I like small schools because otherwise I'd hide in my room 24/7, but...it's still a change. I know I'm going to have to work certain schedules out so I can still manage SL and jsut keep a little bit of my current daily life. I also don't want to lose contact with certain people, and even thinking of this is already having me tear up. I'm bad with certain things and talking to people directly on some things...maybe that's why I'm typing stuff here instead of poking anyone by email or IM. I'll do it. Sooner or later. And probably have wet eyes then, too.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be going, and the financial aid is fucking fantastic (though loans suck since they need repayment sooner or later), not to mention the scholarship the school offers (I kind of forgot to actually apply for any...) but still. Classes and the work-study I'm in (only 7.5 hours a week, thankfully) and not to mention being in a dorm will...I know change some things. But I'm working on stuff so I can cling to a little bit of normality instead of having all the things gone in one fell swoop. Email is going to be my best friend for certain when it comes to some people I've met virtually, and texting and calls when it comes to my RL people who I'm leaving behind.
What am I trying to say? Well, I don't want to fill out some online stuff I should be filling out (pretty sure one is a questionnaire to help match up roommates) because it makes me nervous, makes this all more real. I know it'l be okay and I have to adjust, as with other big changes I was dropped into, but...I want to keep something at least. In this case the most simple thing to keep will probably be SL and roleplay, if to a semi-lesser extent. Yea, I know, I should be talking to one or two people directly maybe, but...that makes me more nervous than anything else since, while they might not get all emotional, I know I will. Like now.
And, yes, I know person I should maybe talk to is probably going to read this at one or another point, but, still...talking will have me say a whole lot more and I will likely end up crying. Thank god for the fact this stuff is hidden behind laptops right? Pfft...yea..I'll get to it...one day...maybe near the end of the summer... Soon. Ish. Once I build up my courage.
But now I'm rambling and really should just hush. So, hushing here and....just...yea...