Tuesday, April 1, 2014


    So, I'm sitting here, not having gone to my one class of the day since my stomach still feels funny from last night, but not as bad at least. But I am still being productive, in a way, in other ways I'm procrastinating and moping a bit. I don't like change so much when I'm just dropped into it. It's like how you have to let fish get 'adjusted' to the water before letting them out of the bag into the tank; I have to adjust to things slowly otherwise it causes me to stress a bit. And come August I'm being dropped into a new tank, so to speak.
    Yesterday I got the accepted student guide for the college I'm moving to come the end of the summer and...maybe that's why my stomach is flipping? I don't know. I just know the thought makes me all...nervous. I'll be living in a dorm, obviously with another person, and in a..women's college aka all women, no guys, in one small school. Fun, right? I mean, I like small schools because otherwise I'd hide in my room 24/7, but...it's still a change. I know I'm going to have to work certain schedules out so I can still manage SL and jsut keep a little bit of my current daily life. I also don't want to lose contact with certain people, and even thinking of this is already having me tear up. I'm bad with certain things and talking to people directly on some things...maybe that's why I'm typing stuff here instead of poking anyone by email or IM. I'll do it. Sooner or later. And probably have wet eyes then, too.
    Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be going, and the financial aid is fucking fantastic (though loans suck since they need repayment sooner or later), not to mention the scholarship the school offers (I kind of forgot to actually apply for any...) but still. Classes and the work-study I'm in (only 7.5 hours a week, thankfully) and not to mention being in a dorm will...I know change some things. But I'm working on stuff so I can cling to a little bit of normality instead of having all the things gone in one fell swoop. Email is going to be my best friend for certain when it comes to some people I've met virtually, and texting and calls when it comes to my RL people who I'm leaving behind.
    What am I trying to say? Well, I don't want to fill out some online stuff I should be filling out (pretty sure one is a questionnaire to help match up roommates) because it makes me nervous, makes this all more real. I know it'l be okay and I have to adjust, as with other big changes I was dropped into, but...I want to keep something at least. In this case the most simple thing to keep will probably be SL and roleplay, if to a semi-lesser extent. Yea, I know, I should be talking to one or two people directly maybe, but...that makes me more nervous than anything else since, while they might not get all emotional, I know I will. Like now.
    And, yes, I know person I should maybe talk to is probably going to read this at one or another point, but, still...talking will have me say a whole lot more and I will likely end up crying. Thank god for the fact this stuff is hidden behind laptops right? Pfft...yea..I'll get to it...one day...maybe near the end of the summer... Soon. Ish. Once I build up my courage.
    But now I'm rambling and really should just hush. So, hushing here and....just...yea...


  1. hey, it´s a new start, a bit of a new life, will all work out and be great, enjoy that time while it lasts! and if you won´t be in sl as much, maybe can take some of that time and get one of your stories ready or a real book, easy to publish one too with e-books and all I think, and of course you should study and sleep too so your new college can be proud of you :P yea, sure, your rl friends, that will be not so easy, but you´ll find some new there, maybe really great ones. so, yes, hush and look forward to the good stuff. also, you should concentrate on your roommate questionnaire, don´t forget to find someone compatible with cookie dough icecream, so a shared small fridge freezer won´t be so bad ;)

    1. Yea, in theory i know all thsi, but in practice it still...stresses me. Dont know why, but maybe cause i am a creature of habit? *shrugs* And, ih, i would only be writing if i have free tme when people like you are asleep and i cant bother ya :p
      And its not just my rl friends, its the fact my interaction with sl ones is on shaky ground and there is no certainty on how thatll work, whereas with ones who currently live near me, go to the same current college, its kinda certain what will go on there. But, trust me though, wont be that easy to get rid of i fear :p
      And right, that cookie dough icecream will bea must, or am getting my own mini fridge :p

  2. laughs. 'when people like you are asleep' somehow sounds as if I´m always asleep for no good reason at all :P shaky grounds? you´ll go to a college that is so fantastic that it restricts sl-access for it´s hopeful future nobel-prize winners? :P at least I guess you only fear time-trouble and not real shakyness of internet connection, I´d like to think that a US-college is able to give it´s students a stable network :P but hm, yea, what can I say there...college more important, it´s your future present and your future :P then think of all the wise 'quality before quantity' and such...if it´s really shaky as in they don´t offer internet that allows for sl o.O ...well...then...the only consolation I have is, yes, that brilliant invention called e-mail and...cookie dough icecream :P
    SHOO! worry, when you´re there, not before, until you know how bad or maybe not bad :P it will be, look forward to it, that´s an order! :P

    1. Well you're asleep when I'm still awake, and awake when I'm still sleeping, so...yes, sleeping for no reason at all clearly :P
      But, ah, by shaky grounds I mostly mean...yea, time, not the internet connection. The internet connection is good, hell, there's even cable if I bring a TV or my roommate happens to :P But, yea, the internet will be fine for SL, I'm sure, and, if not, I have a phone that makes for a nice hotspot lol
      I know, I shouldn't pre-wory...but I can't help it, I worry :P And oh? So you're allowed to order me to do that now? Hmhm, okay, this once I'll let it pass and -try- to listen ;)

  3. didn´t say I´m allowed, I just order and you do. or not. we´ll see :P